


Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again-Songfic

by Holmesian



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Absent!Sherlock, F/M, Grieving!OC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-05
Updated: 2014-08-05
Packaged: 2018-02-11 20:03:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2081316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holmesian/pseuds/Holmesian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in an AU, where my OC Faith gets the shocking news that Sherlock Holmes, her husband and baby's father, is dead from her brother, John Watson, who was there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again-Songfic

**Author's Note:**

> The setting is somewhat in and out of The Riechenbach Fall, so that's why there is Major Character Death. :) I know, I'm not supposed to be happy about it. And yes, I think Sherlock's slightly OOC here. 
> 
> I don't own BBC Sherlock. Just some fan work.

_You were once my one companion_

_You were all that mattered_

_You were once a friend and father_

_Then my world was shattered_

“John? When will Sherlock be back?” Faith called out to her brother, who had just came in the door. Instead of responding, he sat in his chair heavily. She came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands off with a dish towel that she had just pulled out of the drawer. “So he’s out for a long time, yeah? On a case?” John still didn’t answer her, instead going to his sleeping niece in her cradle. He played with her soft dark hair and then turned to Faith.

“He’s not coming back, Faith. No now, not ever.”   
  
“John, stop talking like that. He’s coming back. You’re just miffed that you got left for a case again.”   
  
“Faith, I mean it. He’s not coming back.” John saw that he had to tell her, since she was looking at him strange. “Faith, I saw him jump off the roof of Bart’s, and he,” John had to look away from her face and get a grip on himself. He had to stay strong, if not for him, then for her and Willow, “He landed on the pavement below. I’m sorry Faith, but Sherlock’s dead.” Faith just stared at him.

“No he’s not. He’ll come through that door, probably seething at something that either Greg or Anderson did, stop, and hold his daughter like he does every day.”

“Faith, I SAW him jump off that roof. I SAW his body on the pavement afterward, all bloody and broken. I know what I saw. Sherlock Holmes is dead.” Faith just shook her head.

“He wouldn’t do that John! He wouldn’t leave me nor Willow! He married me, and held Willow when she was born, and, and…” Faith couldn’t continue, sobs shaking her form as she let the information sink in. “When’s the funeral?”

“Probably in a couple of days, so let’s just sit down, yeah? Willow needs you to be strong for her now. Doesn’t she need to be fed right around now?” Willow had her routine, and Faith nodded.

“Yeah, I’ll nurse her, then put dinner on.”

“I’ll do it Faith, put dinner on. It won’t hurt me to do it.” John kissed his sister’s head and left her to nurse the baby while he started dinner. He glanced back at Faith, and his heart just broke for her.

_Wishing you were somehow here again_

_Wishing you were somehow near_

_Sometimes it seemed if I just dreamed_

_Somehow you would be here_

Faith didn’t want to attend the funeral, but since she was Sherlock’s widow, it was all she could do for the rest of his family and friends. Willow must’ve known something was off, as she kept fussing and wanting her mother’s attention. Faith kept her eyes on Willow, quietly hushing her when she cried during the service.

“Faith, would you like to say anything?” John asked her as he gently touched her shoulder. She shook her curly head of light brown hair.

“No, but thank you for asking.” She slipped out of her seat with Willow nestled against her, trying to hide her tears from everyone, but the wet streaks betrayed her. She glanced out at the church yard, just thinking of him, his smirk, and the gentle way he held his daughter. “Oh, Sherlock, why did you do this?” Her voice choked, and she hugged her baby to her.

“To protect you.”

Faith turned her head, confusion flying across her face. _‘No, he’s dead. Face the facts Faith!’_ She swore she heard his voice, but she had to admit, it was a figment of her imagination and only that.

_Wishing I could hear your voice again_

_Knowing that I never would_

_Dreaming of you won't help me to do_

_All that you dreamed I could_

Faith gently handed Willow to John, making sure she was wrapped up against the cold. “I’ll be back. Don’t you worry.” She headed over to the dark gravestone that bore his name. Gathering up her courage, she approached the stone, and swallowed her lump in her throat.

“Sherlock, I don’t know what to say, but I do know this. I love you. I really do. All your quirks just made me love you even more. I’m not perfect. I’m not sure what I’m going to do without…without you. I don’t want Willow to grow up without her daddy, and…” Faith had to press her hand to her mouth, trying to contain the tears.

“I’m sorry love, I’ll try to do better. It’s probably just left over pregnancy hormones.” She sniffed, and wiped her nose with a spare tissue. “I’ll be going now, but please, if you can hear me, please come back. If not for me, then for my brother. He’s lost without his best friend.” Faith placed a kiss on the stone (with her hand), and left. Unbeknownst to her, she was being watched by Sherlock himself. His heart ached with what she and John had said.

“I love you too Faith, don’t forget that.” Sherlock whispered, his eyes full of sorrow, regret, and pain. He knew he had to do this, otherwise they wouldn’t be safe. Faith didn’t hear him, as she was on the other side of the cemetery.

_Passing bells and sculpted angels_

_Cold and monumental_

_Seem for you the wrong companions_

_You were warm and gentle_

Faith and Willow moved back in with Molly, her being the only one that understood what it’s like to lose a loved one, and that Faith had lived there when she was pregnant for Willow. Once Faith and Willow got settled in, they managed to fall into a routine.

By the time Willow had turned one year old, Faith decided it was time for another trip to the graveyard to see Sherlock again. No one could watch Willow, not even Mrs. Hudson, so Faith took her along. It was nap time for Willow, so Willow was sleeping on Faith’s shoulder, snoring peacefully like a toddler should.  They came to the graveyard, and entered. Faith took a proper look around her, noticing the statues all around the place.

Once they reached the grave, Faith sat cross-legged on the ground, trying to avoid the obvious mud puddle at the grave next to Sherlock’s.

“We’re here, Sherlock. I couldn’t find anyone to watch Willow, so I brought her with me. I hope you don’t mind. She’s napping, so I don’t expect too much trouble.” Faith yawned, and updated Sherlock on everything Willow was doing. Faith didn’t see him from where she was standing, but if she looked, she’ll find him in the grove of trees, listening intently and quietly chuckling to himself. After a time, he noticed that she was silent. Concerned, he quietly padded out, careful not to make a noise, and saw that she had fallen asleep against the tombstone, joining his daughter in a nap. He sat down behind them, and pulled Faith (and Willow) into his lap. He kissed Faith’s head multiple times, all the while murmuring comforting, as best as he could, words into her ear. She stirred, and was halfway between sleep and wakefulness when she felt arms around her. She listened, and it had the same timbre of voice that she still remembered.

“Don’t worry love, I’ll be back, it’ll be a little while longer.” She felt a kiss, but when she looked, she was alone.

“Sherlock? Please come back, please?” She begged the empty air, trying to wake Willow. Shaking her head, she got up, hoisted Willow up on to her shoulder, and went back to the flat. She sunk into a depression, but she put a happy demeanor on whenever she went back to work or was with Willow.

_Too many years fighting back tears_

_Why can't the past just die?_

Faith came back to the gravesite, her eyes puffy and hair hastily put into a braid. “Sherlock, I miss you so. Why can’t I move on? No man wants another man’s widow, especially not one with a child. I just want to be able to move on, but the past, it keeps haunting me.” Faith kneeled down in front of the tombstone, not caring if she was getting her trouser-knees dirty with the dirt. John came to visit as well, and when he saw Faith, he just went up to her, pulled her up and gave her a hug.

“Come on Faith. After I’m done here, let’s catch up a bit, hm? Go out to the pub like the old days, yeah?” Faith numbly nodded, and let her brother lead her away after he was done. For an hour, she was able to laugh and drink away her problems, but that didn’t last for long. Miraculously, she didn’t turn to drink or drugs at any point after that.

_Wishing you were somehow here again_

_Knowing we must say goodbye_

_Try to forgive, teach me to live_

_Give me the strength to try_

Faith couldn’t take it anymore. She put her toddler daughter with her godfather, kissed her and her brother goodbye, and then walked out. She was gonna do it. She couldn’t deal with the pain anymore. She was gonna commit suicide and be with her Sherlock. But once she got to the bridge, she just couldn’t bring herself to fling herself over the edge. “Sherlock, what can I do? I miss you more and more with each passing day. … I know, I have too much emotion. A really bad chemical defect, yeah?” She hugged herself, and she thought she smelled some of his cologne.

“Live Faith. Be there for Willow. She’ll never be the same if you kill yourself. She’s already broken from when…from when I died, don’t break her more. Please. If not for her, then for me.” Faith looked around, but didn’t see him.

“Alright. I can do that. Can you give me some strength to try and live? I need it, sorely.” Faith glanced up at the sky, and took a deep breath before heading out, away from the bridge.

 

_No more memories, no more silent tears_

_No more gazing across the wasted years_

_Help me say goodbye_

Faith stood a distance away from John, holding Willow’s hand.

“Mummy?”

“Yes love?”

“W’y are we standin’ ‘way from Unca Jawn?”

“So we can let him talk with daddy.”

“Oh.” Willow paused for a moment. “Will daddy come back?”

“I don’t know, love, but Uncle John and I are hoping he will, though I think Uncle John is losing that hope.”

“Who is Unca Jawn wif?”

“That’s his girlfriend, Mary. You like her, don’t you?”

“Weah, I do mummy. Can dey get marwied?” Faith chuckled, and she lifted Willow up on to her hip.

“I hope they get married, Willow. Only, Uncle John has to ask her first. If he doesn’t, Mary will get quite upset.”

“Oh.” Willow laid her head on Faith’s shoulder and nuzzled her. Faith nuzzled her back. John came up to them, his eyes glinting with tears.

“I believe it’s your turn, Faith.”

“Thank you, John.” Faith walked up to the gravestone, and smiled. “Hello Sherlock. Hopefully this will be the last time I see you. You see, I found someone who would love me….just as much as you would. He will never replace you…I guess I will never love him the way I love you, and still do.” Willow wriggled to be let down and Faith complied.

“She sees a picture of you every night, just so she can see her daddy. I told her you love her very much, and other various stories from when she was an infant.” Faith sighed, and placed her hand on the top of the tombstone. “I love you Sherlock Holmes, and I will never stop. I’m not happy with the man who’s with me, so please, come back soon. Come back to me, to John, to Mrs. Hudson, to Greg, to Molly, to everyone. Please.” Faith stayed a little bit longer, but her concentration was broken by a tugging on her jacket. She looked down to Willow. “Yes love?”

“Mummy, Unca Jawn said to ‘urry up.” Faith chuckled.

“Of course. Come on love, let’s go to Uncle John.” She scooped her up after placing her usual kiss on his tombstone. Willow waved at the tombstone, a single tear tracking down her cheek.

“Bye daddy.”

……………..

……..

….

..

“John, you need to get rid of that mustache. It doesn’t do anything for you.”

“But Mary likes it!”

“Fine…But you should really shave it off…”

 

END


End file.
